


It's Only Funny When He Laughs

by Jayamackdaddy



Series: Mild Jokes [1]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Arkham - All Media Types
Genre: Confusion, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Gay Male Character, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Pain, Rehabilitation, Sex, Sexual Confusion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 12:54:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30139869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jayamackdaddy/pseuds/Jayamackdaddy
Summary: It's almost Halloween and Joker is up to the same antics. Batman in the beginning is being stitched by Alfred because of the encounter. There's something strange that happens with their run in. The Joker doesn't act weird unless it's serious, something Bruce hates to admit knowing about his clown prince. He won't consider the crazy words that come out of Joker's mouth.
Relationships: Alfred Pennyworth & Bruce Wayne, Batman - Relationship, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Joker (DCU)/Bruce Wayne
Series: Mild Jokes [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2218293
Kudos: 13





	It's Only Funny When He Laughs

Hallows Eve

Wincing at the pain, Bruce makes an outward cry. 

Bruce: Ahh, you think I would get used to something like this.

Alfred: Well sir, I do believe getting used to the clown's affection for you is possible, getting used to his new ways of showing it however...

He had a run-in with the clown that night, it was 8:01pm when he found him posted in an abandoned building. The night was dark and gloomy in Gotham, it was the chilled streak through Batman’s blood that made him feel uneasy. Joker usually taunted him to no end... his clown like antics would riyal the bat. Though this time, he was waiting for him in an abandoned building, his hands dripping with what looked like his own blood. Of course Batman assumed the worst, the blood being someone else's. He knew the signs, but this wasn't what caused the rushing spike of blood.

Joker: You know what we need, Bats? a nice spotlight on the caped crusader. Lights please!! 

A singular spotlight shined on Batman now with his entirety exposed. He never flinched expressing the severity of his bolder physique . He just stood there waiting for Joker to speak his usual drivel; there was always room for an appropriate opening.

Joker: Oh Batman, the last piece to my puzzle, the laughter to my joke, the bat to my clown... I surrender. 

Joker quickly kneels to the ground, chains already on his wrists. Leaving himself wide open for the Bat to ravage an easy arrest, this left a disoriented Bat; still, he could never let his guard down considering. It was like the word "surrender" was the key to turning all of the lights on. Batman could see that it was just the two of them. This meant nothing, but more caution to be alert of anything worth suspicion. He pulled out his explosives detector from his tool belt, making sure there were no bombs of the sort in the building. He turned his night vision on to see if it really was just the two of them. Joker being alone and unarmed checked out. 

Batman: What's the catch, Joker?!

Joker: Oh no catch, Batsy. I just want you to take me in. I've been a bad clown as you know. I'm usually the worst on Halloween, right?

He was right. It didn't matter if he was locked up, he always found a way to escape. Even the hallway in the asylum created for him didn't suffice . If Joker wanted to stay in the asylum, he would be the one to choose that. 

Batman: ...

Joker: I see you don't believe me. I'll come to you then.

Batman: Take one step closer and I'll neutralize you. 

Joker: You know how to talk to me with that love language of yours. All for me! But okay I won't if the bat insists. 

Batman walks towards him with severe discretion. He takes out his bat cuffs not trusting Joker to be truthfully bound. 

Joker: Aww and you brought your thick bat cuffs for me. Really Bats, just get on one knee why don't you!

The cuffs restrain both wrists causing a cut of circulation, the slight tear of his white skin leaves open wounds to resemble cherry red fluid. Bruce quickly examines the new cuts comparing the fresh to old blood previously seen. Every story from there pointed to be forthright, he knew Joker was telling the truth. The ragged doll persona eased the ability to lob Joker over his right shoulder. 

Joker: oof… take it easy big guy. I’m not going anywhere.

Batman's movements expressed a sort of tenseness in the vehicle. It would take longer than expected to deliver the criminal to Arkham seeing that he decided to call him beyond Gotham limits. Batman doesn't keep his eyes off of the road to ponder this mystery, the quiet air fills the space. He thought it’d be better to think with the Joker's mouth covered; how he speaks sweet nothings into his ear every once in a while. 

Joker: Mmfmfmffm.

Batman: ...

Joker: Mfmfmfmfm!!!

Batman: I'm not taking it off of you. Might as well get used to not talking for this ride. 

Joker: Hmf!

It had been about an hour or so, the sky is nightmarishly black. Gotham is still 4 hours out, but Batman was used to quiet drives like this. What was weird was Joker being in the passenger seat. Of course, he wasn't going to get into anything the way Batman tied him up. Still wondering why Joker did what he did, he spoke out loud. He couldn't just sit here forever not knowing why he gave himself up so easily. Yeah, he's done it before, but it was never like this to where he had him completely restrained. Joker always pulled the plug before it even getting this far.

Batman: I know you can't talk, and I have half a mind to just let you. You need to tell me why this is happening and why such a remote place away from Gotham. You know I always stop you no matter what your plans are. I always send you away, I always figure you out. You're never doing anything to surprise me because I know you too well , yet you decided to turn yourself in willingly six hours away from Gotham, in an old abandoned furniture store. No hostages, Harley's still in Arkham, your gang is all scattered after the last incident, you don't even have a single knife on you to stab me with. 

After speaking his mind out loud, he becomes furious with the idea of Joker toying with him once again. He quickly rips off the thick layer of tape from Joker's lips causing him to shriek. 

Joker: Gaaaah! Fuck Bruce that wasn't very nice.

(Batmobile swerves to the corner of the highway)

Batman was stunned. He wasn't expecting his real name to leave Joker's mouth. He never gave him any indication that he was the rich billionaire. He never even said he was affiliated with him or the Waynes, at that. Bruce wasn't such a common name in Gotham, and the way Joker said it made it seem like he had known him forever. 

Batman: ...

Joker: Bruce??

Batman: (Not facing away from the road) So that's it isn't it? You're going to use my identity to fuck me over Joker!

Joker: No, of course not, Bruce. By the way I really like the name and I see now how you're able to do all of this. Money is your middle name. Well no your middle name is Thomas, but that's besides the point.

Batman could only think about Alfred and Jason. Dick was on vacation with Damian and Tim was training with Oliver in Star City, so he felt at ease with the knowledge of them being safe, for the time being. He knew however that Alfred couldn't defend himself and Jason was mentally unstable to protect the both of them. With his real identity in Joker's hands, he could do some unspeakable things to his family. 

Batman: (Now looking at him) What was this for Joker? Come clean or I will kill you right here. No one will even know where your body is. I will not hesitate to end you. 

Joker: As fun as that would be, I'm not going to kill Alfred if that's what you're thinking. Or the Copy Cat, or the Boy Wonder, or the Bastard, or the Mini-Detective. And yes I know where they are at the moment. No one is safe from me, uh look at me rambling on. I don’t care about them is what I’m saying Bruce... 

Joker was playing with his fingers at this point. Batman had never seen him so confused on what to say next. He always had something to say, his quick witty comments and banter aggravated Batman to his core. Right now though, Joker was afraid to say what was on his mind. 

Batman: Time's running out, Joker.

Joker: (Sighs) Okay, Batman. But you have to promise not to laugh.

Batman: ...

Joker: I want to be rehabilitated. There I said it. Shoot me if you want.

Batman: What does that have to do with my identity? 

Joker: I'm getting there. You're the billionaire Bruce Wayne. You have the resources to help me do that. And I also can't tell the gang about this yet. They'd go running off to that Cobblepot. What a pansy. 

Batman: Nice try Joker, the last time I helped you, I almost lost a finger. Among other things. 

Joker: That was pretty fun wasn't it, and the Boy Wonder was like "oh no Bats". Ohh I get a kick out of that every time I think about it, and to think got to kiss those stitches. No Bats you helped, but not as Bruce Wayne, and I just wanted to play with you really. The Batman is estranged from his alter ego and I understand that now. It wasn’t hard to put 2 and 2 together and of course you’re different with each face you let on, b-but the old me wanted to blend the two. You could never help me in the way I need right now as him, it has to be Bruce. I'm serious this time. I'm tired of fighting you. I want to live a normal life where we could maybe be friends?

Batman: There's no way you actually want that. You made most of Gotham resent me for making you the way you are as a result of your “rehabilitation”. I couldn't care less about what people think, but you didn't change is my point. 

Joker: Wow look at us having great conversation. We could finish each other's sentences, couldn't we Bats?

Batman: I'm taking you to Arkham, end of story. You knowing my name however is an issue that I will not let stand. Hugo can take care of this once you arrive. 

Joker: As long as you let me be normal for you. I want us to be like others in normal relationships. Like you and Superman.

Batman: That will never happen. You're too far into your madness to change. You can't return to the man I knew before the makeup. You're too gone and you're using your sickness to make me think you want to be different. I see right through your lies Joker and I won't hear it anymore. 

Joker: But I-

Batman quickly tapes his mouth up again before letting him get another word out. They head off towards Gotham again, but Batman can't help thinking about something so crazy, something no one would believe he hated himself for even considering unless it was said by Joker. He thought about Joker actually being normal, no guns, no gangs, no killing, assault, horror, kidnapping, the list went on. He could wrap his head around these things not becoming an issue for Joker anymore, but what he couldn't consider was the Joker not being his reason for getting up anymore, Joker not being his breath of deceitful pleasure that he could beat to a bloody pulp and not feel guilty over. He couldn't imagine a Gotham without it's clown Prince, he couldn't imagine not feeling that toxic yet ravishing pain he felt even speaking his sinister name. The truth was, Batman’s fear stemmed from Joker’s abilities to hold Bruce’s insanity for him, he would bear the lunacy that the vigilante wouldn’t be able to handle. Without Joker, Bruce would spiral out of control and there would be no hope for Gotham.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I came up with a title finally and I edited the shit out of it lol. I hope you enjoy the modified version more and the next chapter will be coming soon!


End file.
